I remember the buses coming to gobble up my children and take them to the rural school when we lived on a farm back in the early seventies. But today the bus dropped off a large group of Probus Club adults from Brampton, coming to visit Memory Garden Retreats. The visit was arranged by Parkinson Tours and was called Rural Gardens of Owen Sound and Wiarton.

Besides visiting here with me, the group was having lunch at Harrison Park, then travelling to Wiarton to visit Chimney Ridge Buckets and Blooms and then on to Keppel Croft Farm and Gardens at Big Bay before returning home to Brampton.

The weather, although still so hot, co-operated by being overcast making walking through the garden more bearable. There were lots of digital cameras in action and lots of questions. I described how the gardens developed over the years and how the compost making is the heart of the operation. I was pleased to offer a photo calendar keepsake and no sooner had the last person got back on the bus when there was a pop up rain shower. Good news was, the group was off to the Harrison Park Inn for a roast beef entrée with all the trimmings.

I feel very honoured to have been chosen to be visited and how I thrive on the many compliments. One gentleman mentioned “I should be proud” and that does sum up my feelings this evening. Everything I had hoped for came to be-the many lilies bloomed (top row flowers) and so did the crocosmia (to the right) and bergamot. In fact, I have had so much fun this past week, watching the blooms fatten and pop open. There were so many heat units; I watered constantly with the watering can emptying all the conserved water in the rain barrels. Then I pruned and dead headed and enjoyed every beautiful moment of all this getting ready.

How blessed I am to enjoy good health and to get to be a Stewart to this wonderful property. The hours my late husband, George, laboured laying paths, building wooden walkways and docks by the river and putting in all the foundation plantings is continuing to be so appreciated. It was a real thrill to share this garden at one of its peak times with the Probus Club members. Thank you all for your kind remarks. It was a wonderful day.

Walkway, het loogardensIn the middle of tulip season, and as it turned out, Iceland's volcanic eruption, I took the most beautiful trip of my life to Amsterdam, Holland and Bruges, Belgium. Discover Europe and Sandi Tinyk from Barrington Community School in Rhode Island were my wonderful guides on "Floral Flanders." I am grateful for Sandi's prior travel experience and stories which added so much to an already amazing itinerary. It was all so wonderful.

Canal Tour Bruges Each night we returned to our rooms with visions of spring flowers, Rembrandt, Vermeer, van Gogh, windmills and canals. We watched the TV updates of the Icelandic volcano that grounded Europeans. What a shocking contrast--from fantastic beauty to devastating black ash. The images of farmers wearing face masks to rescue panicked horses mired up to their knees in mucky ash will remain with me for a long time. What a contrast to the glorious country-side that surrounded us.

Of course I am home safe and sound and totally enjoying my own wonderful spring here at Memory Garden Retreats.  It is hard to put in to words how blessed I feel. I love it all.

If you are ever tempted to visit Holland here are some of the places that I visited:

• www.elephantparade.nl
• www.floralholland.com
• www.paleishetloo.nl
• www.hortusleiden.nl
• www.rijksmuseum.com
• www.keukenhof.nl
• www.thil-neis.com

As a person who has spent my childhood, adulthood and now elderhood in this city, I have a long positive, personal history with the Owen Sound Family "Y". It started with teentown dances held weekly when I was in the eighth grade at Ryerson School. It was during the early fifties dance craze era and I loved the darkened second floor all purpose room turned magically into a den of excitement every Friday night. Somehow I found myself on the teen town executive and was sponsored by the Y’s Mens club to attend a Y  leadership camp at Geneva Park. From that experience I was asked to give a talk about “Being a Leader" to the club.

So it came to be that I volunteered to lead, Neighbourhood ”Y” clubs, swimming instruction classes and First Aid classes and to Life Guard. Friendly Fred Gamble, the executive director at the time, made being in charge of the “Y” look like a wonderful career and I dreamed of setting a goal to attend Sir George Williams College to become a “Y” professional.

Even though I fell short of fulfilling that goal, I married and raised four children all to be “Y” leaders. They started young when I led movement education, on to Y nursery school, swimming classes, swim team, Y leadercore, Life guarding, Day camp instructors and counselors at Presqu'ile Camp. And during those years I continued volunteering as an Aquafit instructor and onto Nursery School executive, to the Y board doing special projects and becoming President in 1976-77.

I marvel when I realize the continuous learning experiences the “Y” has offered me:, fundraising, public speaking, promotions, and how to lead a meeting, to name a few. I will always appreciate this and as I continue to attend Aquafit classes (as a participant, not a leader this time) these wonderful memories  bubble up.

And now, with all the excitement of the New Rec Centre dream getting closer I want to passionately pledge my support to this project. As I sat through the public budget meeting on Monday night and witnessed the new crop of youth leaders pleading with the "city fathers" to BELIEVE in this facility becoming an economic driver for the future of Owen Sound and area, I was motivated to do all I can to help with making this happen. I’ll join the fundraising team, to help the city, the “Y” and the community find many creative approaches to getting this "Dream" built.

As I review the last decade, and move confidently into the future for Memory Garden Retreats, I can only feel very satisfied and pleased. What a congenial community this has all become. I continue to be delighted, hosting new guests to the Bed and Breakfast and enjoying friends coming to the Reiki, Readings and Relaxation days.

It is remarkable to me how all this came about and it is fun recounting the choices that lead to this wonderful outcome.

In the last decade my husband passed away. As a new widow I was often asked if I was going to sell the house. Many commented on all the work the gardens would be. What a surprise! Working in my garden is a joy. Therapeutic, I guess. I have so many memories of George doing everything which I now do. Sharing these memories have created my “grief garden” where I am healed a little more with each conversation. When I was asked to have my garden featured as part of the Georgian Bay Garden Club fundraiser, it was easy to say “Yes.”

The spring of 2008, I volunteered at Community Blooms for the Rural Gardens of Grey and Bruce Counties. As I talked with attendees I would get asked, ”Can you see them all in one day?” And when I said it would take at least three days, the next question was, “Can we stay at one of the gardens?”

With encouragement and inspiring help from my friends, Lisa Cruikshank and Gwynda McKee, my Bed and Breakfast business opened that summer. I’ll never forget my first Bed and Breakfast guest! Of course she toured and photographed the garden and then she asked when the meditation would start. I quickly arranged for a meditation practitioner to come and  the three of us shared a memorable evening, transforming a stranger into a friend. And that is what having B&B guests has felt like ever since.

I now have a  practitioner, Frances Brown giving reiki treatments, and Lisa Cruikshank does card readings with Angel cards. I help with the relaxing part by providing a restful atmosphere and some nutritious snacks. So we journey into 2010 with so much gratitude and happiness. And it will soon be time to start planning for this year’s garden.

Wow. What a wonderful weekend we just experienced. I attended, with my Bed and Breakfast guests, the  opening ceremony for the 22nd Annual Festival of Northern Lights and then the 64th Annual Kiwanis Santa Claus parade. The guests were delighted with both and I am reminded how proud we all are of  Owen Sound and especially how festive it looks at this time of year.

Also this weekend, another big event was the initial sod turning for the start of the new $33 million accessible recreational centre to be built on the Victoria Park site. This is a huge financial commitment for the citizens and we have all levels of government involved along with City and the local Y. And I will be proud to do my part.

Way back growing up in Owen Sound my membership in the Y was sponsored and I started volunteering, teaching swimming lessons in the "Old" Y  basement pool on the corner of tenth and third Ave East. I attended teen town dances there every Friday night and then attended a Leadership camp sponsored by the Y's Men Club. I continued  volunteering in many leadership capacities  and then helped  Dr Paul Hauch with his swim team in London while I was attending Teacher's College there. I had dreamed of becoming a Y General Manager and learned I would need to go to Sir George Williams College in Montreal. But my path lead me to getting my PHT (Putting Hubby Through) while George attended Western Medical School.

When George came into general practice in Owen Sound in 1966, I again started volunteering at the then" New"Y  on 2nd Ave E. and I have been an ongoing member all these past 43 years.  So I have watched the pool age and get patched up and keep going for all this time. And I got my dreams of leading in the Y well realized by having a stint as the Y President, doing fundraising to burn the mortgage in 1977 and continuing to teach aquafit for years and years. Now I attend as a happy participant two to three  times a week.  And I often think "What would I ever do if we didn't have this pool?"

So, yes I will help support the new rec  centre. And at this time of year, I give thanks for the amazing gardens George helped create here at Memory Garden Retreats. Keeling printers have helped me print another gift calendar. This year's quotes and photos will now be part of this web site but if you would like me to mail you a calendar gift just contact me through this site.

And have a Happy Holiday Season.

Jan at SaubleFinally I got to swim in Lake Huron while watching the Sauble Sunset. What a highlight. Brought back so many childhood memories of being at the beach with only a few others sharing the beautiful calm expanse of sand and water. A bit cool, but only at first and I was determined to make this a memory night with my good friends Rachel and Maryann.

So I had to stop at the Sauble Dairy Queen for a traditional soft ice cream treat. And even though he was about to close up for the night, Bev Buckton, the owner recognized me and surprised me by making me a supersize and gave it to me on the house. Again, I marvel at how wonderful it is to live to in this area and how amazing that Bev told me the best part of this business is working with all the neat kids, both local and seasonal all summer long. I was a seasonal summer worker at Sauble (the bowling alley) when I was a kid and so was Bev and the beat goes on. (Thanks Bev for the treat and the surprise.)

Getting home and still enjoying the unusual warmth of this September evening I look up at the night sky with new interest. Just this morning I had attended Doug Cunningham's lecture as part of the celebration of the International Year of Astronomy presented by BALL (Bluewater Association of Lifelong Learning). Doug made looking up fascinating and full of wonder and joy for living to learn more about our universe and the many more beyond our Milky Way. It's hard to put in to words the thrill of knowing about all that energy up there.

This September feels so special and so are friends to share it with. Thanks Maryann and Rachel, Bev and Doug.

One of the first delights when we moved from our Massey farm to this location was that we’d be right in town and so much closer for Owen Sound’s Summerfolk. For 30 years our family and friends have attended this wonderful third weekend in August folk festival—but we didn’t go four years ago. Four years ago on Summerfolk Sunday my husband, George, died. 

Of all the weekends in the year, Summerfolk weekend is the one I can count on having company as everyone comes back for the music festival. It feels so supportive. Summerfolk Sunday and especially the morning Gospel Service in the amphitheatre has a deep emotional feeling for me. So this year as I sat listening to the service, I remembered and gave thanks for all the memories. The messages in the music were positively upbeat. It made it ever so easier to be grateful for the beautiful weather, my family and friends, and this community that, for 34 years now, has organized this remarkable experience.

Jan at Summerfolk, 2009Just looking around at all the attendees enjoying this special gospel service delights me. We are all even singing along when we are invited. I really listen to all the lyrics and what a nice way to focus on the spiritual. I even get a chance to talk with Mayor Ruth, who I quickly remember was one of George’s patients, and we discussed Family Physician Recruitment—another positive community programme.

And so the fourth anniversary for George and Summerfolk Sunday continues with music (I loved Susan Werner singing the Owen Sound song the best), connecting (the at the side chats with Marianne and Wendy), laughing (with Trout Fishing in America) and the stories (Tanglefoot’s Vimmy and the Stan Rogers Tributes) and hugging and singing Good Night Irene at the closing ritual for another Summerfolk.

Today it happened. Two beautiful women came to tour the garden and part way through the tour just as I was telling them how  Memory Garden Retreats has also become a Bed and Breakfast, they turned and asked, "Can we stay tonight?"

Wow. That is how I thought it might happen. The garden on the river setting is so inviting. Some even comment that it makes you think you are in the Muskokas. And now that there are three kayaks for guests to use it is even more cottage-like.

So as it becomes August and another anniversary of my late husband, George's death (fourth) I feel so blessed to be able to share this wonderful garden and home resource with these new guest friends. It feels so right. George worked so many hours on home improvement projects. He was always changing (improving) something. In fact everything around the home and garden was always a a work in progress. AND NOW I realize, I get to do all the fun stuff-having guests and enjoying their delight with this gem of a place.

Again--Thank you universe. I feel grateful to be the steward of this special memory place. The lillies all opened this week and the fragrance is devine. As I tour people I keep pointing out how nice the peegee hydranges are looking these days and the showy stone crop and the bee balm. I guess it all looks pretty spectacular.

So spectacular that very special wedding photos were taken in this garden in July. Congratulations. The bride's grandfather was a special friend of George and this made the photos even more special.

So many pleasant surprises this summer.

I absolutely adore this time of year with the new warmth and longer light hours each day. The cormorants have already returned to the river, the crocuses are in full bloom and the hellebores (Lenten rose) are boldly beautiful beside them. Next will come the bursting open of the forsythia buds and narcissus. And again, my memories of George working every inch of this garden, stream through me.

We (George and I) always had this battle about raking the early spring garden.  I feared for the tender tops of the new growth and George loved the look of the cleared fresh earth. So this is the fourth spring that the garden hasn't been raked and the tulips are coming right through the leaves again. So I gently lift, with my hands, some leaves (for the compost bin) from around the shoots and there is the fresh earth. And then I think wouldn't it be nice to have George here raking this garden again.

And George would be thinking as much about getting to the golf course as he would about this raking. So I drive out to visit George's grave site which is within eyesight of the seventh hole of the Owen Sound Golf and Country Club. And I count the golf balls.

Of course, being a doctor, George knew how terminal his cancer condition was and right after his golfing partner, Dr. Ralph Bunston's funeral in mid July of 2005 he decided to  be be buried rather than cremated. His brother, Bill, went with him to pick the plot in Mount Peasant Cemetery and George said he wanted his golfing buddies to be able to wave at him when they were going down the seventh.

At George's funeral celebration on August 25th, 2005 each of the grandchildren placed a memory memento in the coffin to be buried with Grampa. He had golf clubs, special notes, a  fishing tackle box and blooms from his glorious garden. After the service, Jacob our 8 year old grandson placed a golf ball, that he had forgotten to place in the coffin, on the grass where the tomb stone would later be placed. In September when I  first inspected the tomb stone installation, there was Jacob's golf ball still at the foot of the stone.  I was touched and decided to leave it. A few days later, when I visited there were 3 golf balls. How touching was that? I decided to take a golf ball myself so I picked a brand new one fom George's supply and placed it with  the other three.

I was thinking that these golf balls would soon disappear but to my surprise, instead of leaving they are multiplying. Today when I counted there were over 40. This is over three and half years later.  I have no idea who all gifts George 's site with a golf balls or who may borrow one or two: I just know the number of balls keeps changing.  I  smile every time. And I think it is so neat that the cemetery  service people   seem to be cooperating  by working around the stash. I tuck them in as tightly as possible to the edge of the stone.  From a distance they look like Easter Eggs.

So welcome spring and the joy of the crocus blooms bringing forth memories galore. I cherish every "bloomin" memory.

New adventures keep arriving on my path.  I have decided to trust my decisions about how I respond to the circumstances, opportunities and challenges.  I can do that better now that I understand more about intentions.  I guess I thought setting intentions was much like setting goals --  lots of planning, list making and checking it all off. 

Over the last three years of grieving, I accepted one project (activity) after another.  This has certainly kept my life full, productive and positive.  So when I ask the question “what is my intention with all these busy choices”,  I wondered, at first, if it was a way to avoid dealing with the grief.    The wisdom came when I changed the question to “What do I want out of life?”  The new question brought me more clarity.   I realize how all the “activity choices” have given me a deeper understanding of my true intentions. Through them I have become more aware of “What do I really know in my heart that  I want to do?”

Organizing and starting up my Bed and Breakfast business is helping me to continue honouring my late husband, George’s love of our garden and home.  This feels important.

Using the Retreat Space to host Marie Knapp’s Inner Wisdom Workshops and Retreats has been inspirational and is helping me focus on living a life of purpose.

I am enjoying my home again and am planning for a joyful winter season.  My intention is to keep on enjoying my life.  I am blessed with choices.   I trust that I can make a positive contribution out of all the choices that I am blessed with. 

Two years ago, Marie Knapp led a weekend retreat based on a book called “The Power of Kindness”  by Pierro Ferrucci.  It is an excellent book that approaches kindness from a variety of different perspectives.  Marie made cards out of quotes from the book and gave all the participants a set.  Each quote is followed by a related daily intention.  Most days, I pick one of those cards and focus on that intention each day.   Some particular ones I feel touched by are:

• Kindness- My intention for today is to be a little kinder.
• Respect-My intention for today is to be with others without judgment
• Trust- My intention for today is to notice areas in my life where I can be more trusting and to practice trust
• Honesty- My intention for today is to notice things creative and beautiful and ask how I can support them.

New adventures keep arriving on my path.  Working with intentions has given me a fuller, richer experience.  I am excited for the future.